First thing in the morning:

September 21, 2010

Strolling into the A train. Looking to your right, trying to see what the commotion is about. Usually it is so good. A fight? Nope, not a fight. Oh, I see, it is a couple (clearly homeless and strung out from the night before) taking each other’s clothes off.


Some more character that you know you see at shows.  Brooklyn. You ain’t as hip as you might think you are.

The entire concert does not need to be on your first date:  I will preface with saying that I think concerts are a great place for dates. Really.  But, go to dinner before. A drink before? Something before.  Just to make sure that the rest of the show does not hear your entire “first date” conversation during the incredible set that everyone has been waiting hours to hear. It is cute. Actually, I really enjoy hearing first date conversations, but not when I can hear it more that I can hear the chords.

I guess they just cannot stop making out: I know you are happy together.  I really am pleased that you found such a great companion to spend your weeknights with, but do this at home.  I did not pay $17 dollars to see you and your significant other make out in my view of watching incredible musicians play their instruments.  If you want to come, keep your sloppy make outs anywhere but in my line of view of the hot key boardist.

Just Go Back to Palm Beach: How do you know this band? Don’t pour your beer on me. Don’t scream whenever a new song comes on. Don’t freak with each other. Don’t push through the crowd so you can make sure you are in front. Don’t come.

Especially in the window of an ice cream store.

I guess NY hates fruit leathers.

I am not peppy.

June 29, 2010

Taylor Swift, “You Belong to Me” Just came on the radio in my cubicle section.

A woman screams, “this song is so Abbbbbbyyyy.”

Why is this song me? Why am I a song that I have heard once in my life and it was at the Gap?

Of course, the other woman in my cubicle section agreed. All the women in my office did.  “Yes. Totally you.  White. Pop-y. Bouncy.”

Great. Just great.

I am white. pop-y. bouncy.

Money over Nice.

June 29, 2010

Being offered $30 on the plane to get your aisle seat that you deserve?

When did you have to bribe people instead of asking them the nice way?  Don’t be too shocked that I did not feel comfortable taking the money from the rich oil mogul sitting next to me on the plane.  Stupid mistake: he ended up talking about his business the entire time.  I deserved way more than $30.

This ain’t right.

June 14, 2010

Mr. Starburst gave me an unwrapped, half eaten lemon Starburst.  What am I supposed to do with this?

Nope, I guess it doesn’t exist.

hot bums.

May 11, 2010

In the past week I have found 3 homeless men attractive.

What does this say about me please? These homeless men are sitting on the ground with both their instrument and their money cups. Why does it always look like they became homeless the day after they went out with all the New York City hipsters at Bowery Ballroom? Flannel, beard…come on. You are hot. Take a shower and get off the street.

Always dressed well, always homeless? No way mr.

Does this make sense? I am attracted to the street people.

what a mess up

May 2, 2010

you ain't frozen food, tuna fish